Hello my darling!
Your big sister Niamh and I went to the Cathedral today ~ I have not been in this amazing building for years. Niamh put money in the donation box and then chose your candle and together we lit it. If I had been on my own I would have shed more tears, but tears are difficult when you have a 3-year-old elephant exploring a place of peace, tranquillity and silent, reverent reflection! You know Mummy doesn’t like to give in to tears too often, but I often feel like they have been bottled up for this week each year. I do not have a clue, by the way, where Niamh learns these poses!!
As I watched the flame on your candle flicker and cast a soft glow over the stand, I was reminded how much you really have been our torch in the darkness, shining bright and lighting the path that God would have us take. I gave thanks for His divine promises to us that you would make a difference in this world, and I gave thanks for the ripple effect your death has had. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss you, it doesn’t mean that I understand why you were not able to live with us, but I can still give sincere thanks despite my questioning.
Niamh asked me what the cushions were for on the floor, so I explained that people in this church kneel to pray. Well, you know your sisters, they don’t need much of an invitation to pray so she insisted we get on our knees and pray! And she kept going back to your candle and spoke about you being dead and in Heaven with Alex and Xander and Grandpa and Aunty Tooty.
That is what made me really sad that at 3 years old she has already lost her sister, her Grandpa and her Aunt Tooty. I am so thankful that children are so accepting of death and so matter of fact, but I do wonder what impact it has had upon your sisters. Time will only tell I guess and the hope is that the Lord can use it for good as we know He can with anything we go through.
Anyway, my love, thank you for being such an amazing wee sister and for showing your big sisters how to spread God’s love and healing!
Mummy misses you and loves you. xxxxxx
This post was first published by Susan Simpson, Anam Cara Fasgadh Founder, on 20/09/12 and can be found HERE